Archive for the ‘Stuff I've Written’ Category

To love, to behold… to view the splendour of you
To kiss your lips, to run the back of my hand along the contours of your cheeks
To love so deeply, so completely, so intensely, that all existence seems to fade next to your smile,
To cry, such deep tears, such wells of sorrow at the realization of your absence
To vow to never love again
To never love again regardless of the vow
To dream an eternal, romantic, idealistic dream of you
To wish I could be the ointment to your wounds
To realize I hold the knife in my hand that caused those wounds
The dagger I wish was driven in me
The pain I wish you were spared, and I to endure
The love I wish to show you
The hate I wish to spare you
The sorrow I wish to part from your tender spirit
The loneliness I yearn to strip from my existence
The void I thirst for you to fill with your sweet voice
Dripping with sweetness
Flowing with purity
Creep into my arms
Curl into my soul
Wet my eternal essence
Be as we were, innocent and pure, and all the hope in the world
Tears never cried
Untrue obscenities never spoken
To hold you so close as to fuse our bodies, time and tense into one complete, perfect, circle.
But most of all…
I wish for you to be complete my love
With, or without me…

A seed planted in ancient times, by ancient hands, in ancient soils…
Nurtured by an eternal sun, forged by divine alchemy, strengthened by the blood of many…
In your earth nations have blossomed, and waned, and committed ritual suicides… as nations do.

Emperors of evil and good, sin and virtue, have stood at your feet, and bowed in disbelief and awe…
Principalities, presidents, priests and prophets have come to you at the end of their days…
Angels and demons have fought for your rise and demise… as angels and demons do.

A dark adrenaline has driven me to the banks of this river that flows beneath these roots…
The solar winds have filled the sails of my soul, frequently gentle, occasionally almost ripping, but never tearing…
Today I will reluctantly, then gladly, give in to your seduction, and ignore all promises I’ve made against this allegiance…
as lovers do.

You walk into my door, survey the front porch where Spring and Autumn mixes, mingles and dances circles on the floor in front of you. The smell of flowers and winter rains lingers gently, lazily, like children playing in your hair, like butterflies after the storm…
So I sweep it all up in a bundle to keep you from slipping on the first step… yet I purposefully sweep around your footprints; I dare not risk destroying any evidence that you’ve been here.

You smile… look down at your feet shyly as if to apologize for leaving dirt on my freshly polished wooden floors.

Don’t wipe your feet, I insist. Dirt, holy dirt, your dirt… worth it’s weight in gold, or a currency that can only be exchanged in the stock markets of the soul, traded by stockbrokers who’s qualifications consist purely of the amount of tears they have shed, the scars they have endured, and the wisdom they have gained. Maybe here your way is paid by measures of kisses, and broken silences, and sighs, and smiles, and laughter.

Never mind. Look up into my eyes. Let me see you. Come in. You know you’re always welcome here, you always were. Though this be your first visit, your soul must have crossed this threshold a million times in as many lifetimes. Now fate has seen it fit for this threshold to be crossed – to be blessed – one more time, at this time, in this lifetime.

You look up, open your eyes: Wise beyond measure, yet ethereal, virginal deep whirlpools, shallow graves, stormy oceans… perpetual perfection protected in silent valleys by majestic mountains.

As you walk through the hallway I can’t help but notice your teasing manner, personifying my first kisses. Maybe you’re him… maybe. And maybe every time my heart jumps, you are where it jumps to. And maybe every time my heart skips a beat… maybe you are the pauses in between. Maybe you’re my heaven. Maybe you’re my hell… maybe.

Could I? Would you stay. Would you sit with me till dusk. And will you lie down with me till dawn? Would you take away this winter? This frost bite of a soul long deprived of the brilliance and warmth of your smile… of your eyes, of your embrace?

Sit down…
Let’s start with tea.